Kindness is Power: Jacinda Ardern’s Memoir, A Different Kind of Power
“I wanted to be known for my own leadership rather than defined by anyone else’s.”
- Jacinda Ardern, A Different Kind of Power
The Right Honourable Dame Jacinda Ardern was the 40th prime minister of New Zealand. She was thrust into the media spotlight in October 2017 as the youngest Prime Minister and the third woman Prime Minister to be elected in 150 years. Jacinda Ardern’s memoir, A Different Kind of Power, inspires us to challenge old definitions of power and leadership.
In her memoir, she redefines power and leadership by placing kindness above all else. This new kind of power, based on empathy and kindness, is not what one would immediately think of when the word power comes to mind. Yet Ardern shows us that her style of leadership is just as effective as other forms of leadership, and in many cases essential.
Empathy and Kindness = Power
Ardern’s memoir emphasizes the importance of empathy and kindness.
“Kindness has a power and strength that almost nothing else on this planet has. I’d seen kindness do extraordinary things. I’d seen it give people hope; I’d seen it change minds and transform lives. … This would be my guiding principle no matter what lay ahead” (Ardern, 2026, p. 202).
When most people think of power, we might think of power that has the capacity to influence others. Typically we do not consider kindness as a means of influence. In my course on the foundations of leadership, early on we talk about the six social bases of power by French and Raven (1959). They offered a classification system examining six types of power that include referent power, reward power, coercive power, expert power, legitimate power, and information power. Yet, none of these bases truly encompass the power of kindness and empathy. Again and again, Jacinda Ardern returns to the necessity of empathy and kindness in society and in leadership. Listening and putting yourself in the shoes of others goes a long way in leadership.
I’ve observed a shift with many young adults citing the importance of being empathetic as a leader. I have been teaching leadership for almost a decade and I often start the semester asking: “What leadership trait, skill, or behavior do you admire in yourself or others?” The answers are often similar through the years: communication, organization, assertiveness, confidence, etc. More recently, empathy has become a common response.
Recent scholarly literature has looked at connections with kindness leadership. A Harvard Business School article by Boris Groysberg and Susan Seligson (2020) frames kindness as a powerful leadership strategy that is under utilized and overlooked. An act of kindness can be displayed as business-relevant leadership behaviors such as listening, checking in, and validating anxiety. When leaders care about their employees' well-being, that can trigger a release of oxytocin in the brain and can help to “improve morale, decrease absenteeism, and retain employees longer” (Groysberg & Seligson, 2020).
Moreover, shifting toward kindness leadership that is intentional, human-centered, and emotionally aware can support people and move beyond simply driving output as proposed by Janet Michel, Odile Pham-Tan, and Marcel Tanner (2024). Their research provides evidence that mental health and well-being can be improved through kindness leadership by reducing burnout and there are strong links to better job performance.
Be human first and leader second
A second message that runs through Ardern’s memoir is the importance of being human. Humans are social beings. As social beings, they are relational and herein lies the importance of caring for others, which connects back to empathy and kindness. Interestingly, these traits tend to be thought of as feminine, communal characteristics. Exhibiting agentic, masculine characteristics and traits such as being directive, assertive, independent, and dominant are often what is most linked with leadership (Eagly & Karau, 2002). Women, especially, receive backlash as leaders if they act in a more masculine way, not being liked and experiencing challenges as leaders (DeFrank-Cole & Tan, 2022).
As a leader of a country, Ardern must be viewed as strong and capable. But, like many women she faces the double-bind, where they are unable to be viewed as likable and capable at the same time due to the dissonance of gender norms and our ideas of leadership (DeFrank-Cole & Tan, 2022; Eagly & Karau, 2002). Gender stereotypes tell us that women should be caring, less aggressive, and less assertive than men. Yet, these stereotypes are incongruent with the stereotypes that we hold for leaders. When women behave in ways that confirm these stereotypes, they are then perceived as weak or ineffectual leaders. While they may be considered likable, they are not viewed as competent. On the other hand, if women behave in counter-stereotypical ways — when they act "like men" by being direct or competitive — they may be viewed as competent but unlikeable. This behavior is viewed as unfeminine.
“Sensitivity was my weakness, my tragic flaw, the thing that might just stop me from sticking with the work that I loved” (Ardern 2025, p. 120).
The idea that leaders place being a leader second to being human can be a challenge for women leaders in particular due to the double-bind. Ardern, on the one hand, wanted to be seen as a capable and effective leader but also stayed true to her values and guiding principle. Empathy and care were clearly a part of who she was and how she led.
While she could have changed and acted in a way that might have been considered as more leader-like, she would no longer be an authentic leader and would not have been the most effective leader. She stuck to her values. Ardern had goals, and placed those goals for change in her country over her desire to lead. It is those hardfast values and priorities that showed that she was an authentic leader.
“I would rather be criticized than stop being human” (Ardern, 2025, p. 281).
Furthermore, her leadership was clearly evident when she decided to step down as Prime Minister. She knew that it was best for her party and the causes that were important to her that others took the mantle to lead. Leaders support and uplift others to become leaders. Like she was empowered to take on leadership, she did the same for others. She stepped out of the way so others could lead.
Jacinda Ardern led on her own terms. She led with empathy; she led with kindness. She was effective and successful and she showed us that what the world needs is to challenge old ways of leading and to reimagine power and leadership.
For more: Listen to WE lead: Women’s Empowered Leadership. https://open.spotify.com/episode/2eCrmP4QD5V0EZ4bl5LYhB
References
Ardern, J. (2025). A Different Kind of Power. New York, NY: Penguin Random House.
DeFrank-Cole, L., & Tan, S. J. (2022). Women and Leadership: Journey Toward Equity. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publishing Inc.
Eagly, A. H., & Karau, S. J. (2002). Role congrutity theory of prejudice toward female leaders. Psychological Review, 109, 573-598.
French Jr., J. R. P., & Raven, B. H. (1959). The bases of social power. In D. Cartwright (Ed.), Studies in social power (pp. 150-167). Ann Arbor, MI: Institute for Social Research.
Groysberg, B., & Seligson, S. (2020, November 1). Good leadership is an act of kindness. Harvard Business School: Working Knowledge. Retrieved from https://www.library.hbs.edu/working-knowledge/good-leadership-is-an-act-of-kindness
Michel, J., Pham-Tan, O., & Tanner, M. (2024). Kindness leadership needed now more than ever in global health and beyond? Journal of Global Health, 14, 03013.doi: 10.7189/jogh.14.03013.
